“Can’t read my,
Can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face
(She’s got to love nobody)
Can’t read my
Can’t read my
No he can’t read my poker face”

I thought I was done blogging for a while, since I’m going into the hospital tomorrow. Well it turns out I’m not! My head specialist is at a teaching hospital and it is an excellent hospital, with some of the BEST nurses ever! So I deal with a lot of residents, who are doing their Neurology rotation, they are overseen by the Neurologist, who is the attending on the floor at that time. And who has the ultimate say so. 

The University also has a patient portal, where I can sign in and look at all my clinic notes, lab work, request refills, make appointments, leave emails for my doctor and read inpatient H&P’s and Discharge Summaries. They just created an app for your phone, so convenient. 

Now let me get to the reason for this blog. When I am in pain, with a migraine attack, I tend to be very stoic. After 17 years of chronic pain, migraine, fibromyalgia that stays in flare, more times than not and degenerative disc disease throughout my spine, you learn to deal with the pain, however you can. My way is putting on a poker face, but if you look into my eyes, they tell the story. What really ticks me off, is to read my H&P(History & Physical)and see that the doctor has written, patient appears to be in no distress. Are they not listening and are they not looking!! It is obvious they know little about chronic pain and as residents, they better learn, it is a wide-spread problem! This is where stigma can come from, doctors who don’t understand chronic pain from many sources, most of all migraine. 

I am very blessed to have found my headache specialist, he listens, and works with me in formulating my treatment plans. He has a great sense of humor, is soft-spoken, both of these things are a lot like myself. Has a mind like a steel trap, he can recall things dealing with my medical history, from 10 years ago. He is patient, kind and caring, most of all, he has never given up on me! And I have had doctors do so, because I was “too complicated” for them. Yes, I am a challenging migraine patient, mostly due to all the allergies I have and other health issues. But he has never made me feel as if I was too much of a bother. In my book he wears a halo! 

“P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)
P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face
(Mum mum mum mah)”

Enjoy some Lady Gaga, the inspiration for this blog, at least the poker face portion! 

 

“A person who truly loves you, is someone who sees the pain in your eyes. While everyone else believes the smile on your face.”  Author Unknown

Live with hope,
Roni

 

Songwriters: NADIR KHAYAT, STEFANI GERMANOTTA
© Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC