“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” ~ Eleanor Brownn

Picture this, it’s 1558 and you have a dozen ladies in waiting anticipating your every need or desire. Your body aches and a nasty tension headache is brewing, after a long day of dealing with, the running of your kingdom. This was the day set aside, to hear grievances, from your people, and solve these problems.  Not to worry, a hot bath and massage is waiting for you. Feeling too fatigued to go the royal dining hall for supper, no problem, supper is brought to you. When you are ready for bed, your ladies in waiting, help you disrobe, and get into bed. Making sure your sleeping environment is cozy, relaxing, free of noise, light and distraction. Throughout the night your ladies in waiting, take turns watching over you, in case you might need something during night. The next morning, the routine starts over again, with your ladies in waiting fetching your breakfast, and maybe filling you in on palace gossip as you eat. You get dressed for the day, with the help of your, ladies in waiting, and because today is a slow day, with nothing urgent to do. You declare this day, a leisure day. For taking strolls through the Palace gardens, reading, a picnic on the grounds, followed by a nap or working on needle craft.


While all of that sounds really fantastic, I don’t think that I could handle it day in and day out. But letting myself be treated like a Queen, for one day, that I could do. Migraine and Fibromyalgia, which equals chronic pain, takes a lot out of me. Often leaving me with bone deep fatigue, poor sleep, or painsomnia, the inability to tolerate the slightest touch at times, because my muscles hurt so badly. There is not one muscle group, that is immune for Fibromyalgia pain, my breasts even hurt, during a flare. I get charlie horses at night, in my legs and feet. There is a direct correlation between a migraine attack and fibro flare. For me there is also a direct link, to the barometric pressure changes.

Let’s talk about being a Queen for a day and self-care. As the quote I used above say’s, “you cannot serve from a vessel”. How can we help others, if our vessel is empty? How can we even help ourselves? Here are a few ways to practice self-care and make you feel like a Queen for a day.

  • A few years ago for Christmas, my son’s gave me a gift certificate for a spa treatment. Heavenly, it included a facial, full body massage, manicure and pedicure. Since the therapist was really thorough and took a medical history, she knew I had Fibromyalgia and didn’t dig in really hard in the problematic areas. It’s important that your massage technician knows your medical history. If a full body massage is too pricey(and they can be), go for an upper body massage.
  • This is one of my favorites; Turn off your cell phone, get comfy in a pair of PJ’s or sweats, read a good book, or have a movie or TV show marathon, with popcorn thrown in there sometime.
  • Self-care days should be, a break from all social media. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, your Websites, Blogs, etc., will not crash and burn if you don’t make an appearance for one day. This includes your cell phone, leave it on for possible emergent calls, but no peeking!
  • Order take out for supper, no muss no fuss!
  • If you’re a hot tea drinker, indulge in your favorite relaxing tea today.
  • If you have a favorite sweet, but hardly ever eat it, self-care day would be the day to do so.
  • Depending on the weather, if you feel up to it and maybe your spouse or a friend, wants to come along. Take a stroll through your neighborhood, breathing in the fresh air. I have found this to be helpful, when I’m feeling a little down. I’ll take pictures of flowers, or anything else I find interesting. It lifts my spirits every time!
  • Get your hair done, try something different, go a little wild. It can really boost your self-esteem. While your there get a manicure and pedicure, if your salon offers them. There’s something decadent about having, a manicure and pedicure, especially a pedicure having your feet rubbed, feels wonderful!
  • Maybe you just feel like napping, that’s perfectly fine. This may be your body’s way of telling you, that your energy stores or depleted and need to be recharged.
  • Never ever, feel guilty about taking self-care days, ever!

By implementing a self-care day, you are making yourself Queen for a day! I believe those living with chronic pain on a daily basis, should be Queen for a day, at least once a month. More often than that, if your pain levels are higher and stay high for long periods of time. We are not doing ourselves, or our families, any good if we continue to push ourselves to a breaking point. Again, you cannot serve from an empty vessel! This includes your family, the migraine and chronic pain community, and most of all yourself. So allow yourself to be Queen for a day, and image sitting in that beautiful throne, in a mystic place, where all is calm, quiet and serene. After you’ve been Queen for a day, you are energized, your hope level on full, you feel peace, love and joy, your vessel is full and overflowing! 

“Self-care is not about self-indulgence, it’s about self-preservation.” Audrey Lorde

Live with hope,

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